Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
