he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
