First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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