You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Vodka?
Forever.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
