No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
