Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
