The best revenge is premature balding
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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