I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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