Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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