Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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