First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize