I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
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Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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