I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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