How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
