I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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