The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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