PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
