This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
