Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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