I've blown a few things in my day
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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