Got a toothbrush?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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