I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
MIDGETS
????
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
