Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
