party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
