I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just had sex on a roof
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
