Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
