google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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