OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
