Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
