I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize