Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
