just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
