Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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