the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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