Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
