if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Found your dick twin last night
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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