okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You are the jesus of drinking
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Randomize
