cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
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