Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
