Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
