i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
