Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
