Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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