Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
my liver is dry heaving
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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