Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
