That's intense
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
