This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
