ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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