He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
