Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
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