Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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