Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
