Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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