forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
