hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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