you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
